Forgotten post

I wrote this post a few days back, found it today so I thought I would post it for you to see.

I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain, what a glorious feeling, I’m happy again!

hmm… well it’s raining, am I actually singing? no. Unfortunately, I’m feeling under the weather. Sick(sore throat, headache, etc.) but also in a funk. I can’t say that this week has been bad or overwhelming, just busy and a lot little boring. i want to go to yoga, shop for my prom dress, I want to spend some time doing things I care to fill my time with. Even in my dreams, I can’t escape. Once you start dreaming of your part time job every night, you know your working too many hours. lol it’s been school, work, bed, school, work, work, school, work yes I am just complaining. But I am also asking if it’s all worth it. What is a life without pleasure and enjoyment? Happiness is a choice, I believe that wholeheartedly. I also believe that happiness is finding joy in whatever you do. But should one settle for finding some joy in the motions or should we strive to reach our greatest potential? I guess I’m also asking if I am ok with the way things are, and no, no I am not. I need change.

I need a heart I can understand and listen to, I need a body and a mind that work together as one. I need to break the lies and listen to only truth. I need to be able to sit in a chair without pain and without my legs falling asleep. i need to live not day by day but for the life within the day.